4/9/00 4 months post op today !
Well hello, I was wanting to write and vent the last couple of days but I decided
to wait until I was 4 months even. I have been having a heck of a time lately.
I have been floundering around with the weight loss lately staying between
168 and 165 for the past  3 weeks.  I have come to the conclusion that
this would have been a gain in my pre op days, I know that it has to do with
my monthly cycle. Which by the way is late again.  My first post op menstrual
cycle was like 17 days or more late, the second was right on schedule, my Dr
told me this was to be expected, due to a few reasons related to the surgery.
1) my body went thru a traumatic event and it is trying to get normal. 2) I am
losing weight rapidly and that is also traumatic to my body. All I know is the
last 5 days I have been a monster, yelling, screaming and fighting with anyone
who will argue, including some poor girl at a convient store. Geez how embarassing
It is a very similiar feeling to the way I felt after immediately coming home from
the hospital. Finally today I feel normal again, emotionally.  This platue hasn't
bothered me as much as the others did. I guess it's because I am happy with my
weight now and really dont want to lose much more than another 15lbs, I mean
I wouldn't complain if it was 20 but dont want to get to low. I am in a size 10
I can wear an 8 but it's tight, I can buy mediums in some clothes depending on
the brand and the cut.  My boobs look like beannie babies that have been run
over by a mac truck, the didn't get much smaller, but they are "saggier" but
enough about the boobs LOL.  The cool thing is I can wear my shirts tucked in
I can wear spaghetti strap dresses that cling tightly to my body. My stomache
"appears" flat. I say appears because it actually isn't it does hang a bit but that
is from my 2 c-sections, and a trauma to my lower stomache ligaments that
never healed correctly.  I would consider a tummy tuck and boob lift, but
like I explained before me and anthestisia don't go well together so it's
just not worth the risk.  My arms and legs look fine as long as I am
standing or sitting, but let me lay down and man, I look like a jello mold
of a human that has been left out of the fridge to long, I melt into the bed.
I literally look like a mix between a solid and a liquid, LOL. I haven't been to
the gym but 1 time in the past 4 weeks and that is my fault, but so much has
been going on, with work, the kids both in scouts, the company, 2 deaths in
the family and me having somthing resembling the plauge. But I am better
now and will get back on track as far as toning my body. That alone sounds
so funny, I have always worked out to lose weight, now I work out to tone it.
Also a terrible confession, I haven't taken my vitamins in almost a month.
I started taking them again today that probably has somthing to do with my
period being late.  Every night for the past 4 nights I have gotten nautious.
Not from eating or drinking or lack thereof, just out of the blue, no reason.
The only relief is a sugar free popsicycle. Yummy!   As far as food I am eating
more like a regular human now.  My servings are still pretty small compared
to the old days, or my skinny husbands plate, but I am comprible to that
of my 8 year old son who eats like a 2 year old.  The variety of foods I eat
now are much more broad and that is a good thing.  Here's an example of
a meal for me,  1/3 of a skinless boneless chicken breast broiled, 2 tsp
of mashed potatoes and 3 green beans.  Water is still the only thing I drink
besides my 6 oz of juice I have daily. I don't think I have a problem with
milk although I don't drink it ever, because I never have cared for milk.
I have had red meat with no problem, although I have never had more
than 1 small bite of it at a time, I have tried it about 4 times now. I just
don't have a taste for it.  I haven't thrown up or dumped in forever, I would
have to look at my journal to say for sure but I think the only dumping I did
was 2 months post, and I think I did it twice. I walked about 23 miles this past
weekend and never got tired. We were out raising money for the march of dimes
walkamerica event in wich my whole family is walking on April 29th.  It was great !
In the old days I would have had to stop because of the tiredness or the thighs
rubbing together that was a big problem for me back then, but not now, infact
we are planning a trip out to the island for next week while the kids are on
spring break, I can't wait to swim and run around in my bathing suit. I know that
standing next to some perfect 18 year old I will look horrendous, but for me,
a married mother of 2 that's 30somthing I will feel terrific. My husband is doing
wonderfully, he really loves me either way I can say that honestly, he treats me
no differantly than he did prior to surgery, other than the but thing. Atleast once
a day he tells me what a great but I have LOL, I run to the mirror, looks like a
but to me, it's not smooth or toned, it's just my butt. LOL.  Well that's all for
now,  I will write back either when I break 160 or when my goofy cycle starts.
Take care for now.  

4/21/00

Hello all, well ok, my goofy cycle started so here I am, I certainly haven't broken 160 yet,
but I do think maybe my platue has passed, maybe. LOL. I am a couple lbs down but the
way it's been fluctuating lately I am not putting to much into it. Kim and I did not make
it to ship island, we both had so much pop up that we couldn't make it. My dear hubby
and my anniversary was 4/18, we went to the same resturant that we went to on our
wedding night. It was delicious.  I haven't posted my weight or measurment for this
because it is the same as last month. But I have a feeling that will be changing a
little within the next week or 2. Tomorow my husbands best friend is getting married.
So we will have a house guest for tonight and they will be doing the boys/bacholor
thingy. OH we went to the crawfish festival and it was wonderful. I fit in every ride.
It was so nice to just hop on in and have them lower the bar all the way down and
it not touch my tummy. I might also add that I took the kids to visit my X-mother
in law in the full care facility that she lives in and the nurses stopped me for the
first time, they asked are you a relative. I looked at them like they were nuts
they see me every month, I even take her to the DR. I said yes and kept walking,
the stood infront of me and said how are you related. I kind of smiled and said, it's me
Sandi, her x-daughter in law, these are her grandkids.  They just moved aside but
it still didn't register with them. They even called my sister Angie to ask who I was
and when she told them they couldn't believe it. LOL. that was pretty nice.  I miss
my sister Shannan, but she called and they will be comming in from Vegas in July.
I can't wait. Ofcourse my husband retires in 33 days woo hoo, we are not sure where
we are going yet. We might only move 30 miles but then again it could be anywhere.
The cool thing is my birthday is July 30, and I will be skinny for my birthday the first
time in so many years I can't remember. I want to have the biggest party and tell
the world. My attitude towards telling people about my surgery now is so differant
than the first month. Now I want to wear a shirt telling everyone. This is the absolute
best thing I have ever done for myself.  It's not for everyone but it was definately
right for me. Well I guess I will write back when I am under 160. Bye

4/29/00 Finally in the 50's woo hoo
Hello there everyone. OK so today marks the event
of the century for me. I got on the scales today to have
them read 158. I can't believe it. Nothing  can describe
my excitment. When I started this journey I said I wanted
to be 150ish. at the least 145. Now that I am almost there
I believe I was correct. I am a comfy size 8, I look good
and feel great. I haven't been to the gym in a while as my
last few post have indicated. But I do a home routine everyday
that is mainly toning excercises that I compilied myself.
This is the first time in my life I haven't worked out to loose
weight, I am simply working out to tone my muscles and get my

skin into a little better shape. Today was the March of Dimes
walkAmerica. It was reduced from 6 miles to 3 miles due to
traffic routing problems within the city. Last night we went dancing
until 1am, got home went to bed, we were at the park by 7am, I set
up 3 booths, helped the photog, and then the walk started. There were
around 500 walkers. We (my husband, my son and myself) started
dead last, as we were busy working.  We walked at the fastest pace
I have ever walked. My son and I ran around a 1/2 mile of the route.
I must admit that last 1/2 mile was a tuffy, the temp was in the high
80's and the humidity here was close to 100%. I concentrated on my
breathing and the whole route I kept thinking I can do this now. I can
finally do this. Thank you.  Due to our fast pace and partial running.
We ended up finishing in the top 200. What a joy. What an honor.
Just think if we had started in the front instead of in the back. WOW.
Well what can I say I am 10 days from 5 months and less than 10lbs
from my goal.  Everyone writes and asks "how the heck did you do it?"
My simple answer is, My program RENEW, is a wonderful well
rounded complete program, the amazing people there gave me
a tool and showed me how to use it.  I stuck to the plan and
EXCERCISED  my butt off, literally.  It works it all really
works, if I can do it, anyone can, I had horrible will power
and had tried everything on the market and more, nothing
ever worked. Now I am where I want to be. Thank you Renew.
In addition running the FOA wls support and info center has
been a tremendous inspiration, I recieved motivation on
the hard days, and gave it on the good ones. I saw some
others short cummings and downfalls and tried to steer
clear of making the same mistakes. I saw what worked
for others and followed thier leads. Thank you FOA.

5/5/00 Almost 5 months

Hi there almost 5 months this is my last update in my 4 mo jounral but here's a mo
month pic for everyong whose been asking. I took a little rushed trip to New Orleans
to see my wonderful Dr. I woke up Monday morning with intense stomache pains.
The lasted for 4 hours before I even called his office, I ofcourse was told to come
right in and that I might want to bring some clothes incase I go into the hospital.
I cried, I was scared to death, it was worse than the first time pre op because I truly
thought somthing was seriously wrong. Every time I drank somthing it hurt, so I didn't
eat or drink most of the day for fear I had torn somthing loose and I was pouring
liquids into my body cavity. I got there and within 10 minutes of questions and
exam, my darling genius Dr and his brillant nurse Heather decided it was muscle
pain not anything gastric. I was sceptical but the assured me I would be fine,
told me to call them if I had any problems thru the night, and to phone in either
way first thing in the a.m.  We left and I ate and drank, the pain started to go
away. Come to find out it was the muscles in my stomache wall from running
the March of dimes WalkAmerica the Sat previously and then taking my kids
to the beach on Sun. LOL, I have had NO surg related problems and come to find
this isn't related either.  But just as they said, it's always better safe than sorry.
by that evening the pain had completely went away and has not resurfaced. Once
again they were right on the nose with their diagnosis. Boy did I mention they
are really good?  I am so excited, by doing my nightly toning routine that I
developed I have been able to drastically improve the quality of my upper
thighs and butt, in only a short time, (maybe 2-3 weeks)  This is great.
My husband actually made the comment that he is noticing other men staring
at me wherever we go, I can't say thats not a nice feeling, because they should
stare, and for all the right reasons ! We will be moving within a month, we are
not sure where, Atlanta, Raliegh, and Tampa are currently in the running. I am
so very excited about this move.  My husband will be retiring from the AF, and
he has had some really terrific job offers. Heather (my wls nurse) wrote me and
asked if she could write somthing about me or the FOA online support that I run.
I am really excited about this, it will be in next months renew newsletter.  I am proud
of what I have done, I have worked hard to do it, everyone asks how how? It's the
same story stick to the plan and exercise.  Trust me nothing has ever worked before.
I wish I could see my family, my sister Shannan, and my mom and grandma, I would
also like to see my brothers and my buddy Dan, They haven't seen me thin before
I miss them terribly and know I would get honest input from them. My daughter (11)
wore my shorts to school by accident yesturday, yes they were a bit loose, but not
too much, and in the pic below I am wearing her shirt LOL, sure never thought that
day would come. But since we are switching up clothes, I look like one of those
women who dress like a teenager, hehehehe, I guess I am one of those women,
but who cares, I spent my whole life being self concious and wondering what
mean things people were saying about me, now I smile and enjoy my life.
See ya at the 5 month mark.

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