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AUGUST 10, 2000, 8 MONTHS AND 1 DAY POST OP
Hi there, it's been a while, over a week a I guess. It has been
so busy around here. I really have nothing new to post. I did gain
6lbs, yeah can you believe it?? Actually I can, I know that it is
water weight gain, first I haven't been paying attention to my
water intake the past 4 days, (ie: maybe drinking 1 or 2 glasses
per day -vs- the 50-60oz I was drinking) and it's around that
time of the month. It's amazing that when I was pre op I never
noticed any water weight gain, I mean what is a couple lbs
when your 100 overweight? Now that I am at goal I notice it
trust me it does not bother me and I am in NO WAY worried
about gaining too much weight. My size 4 and size 6 clothes
still fit me perfectly. Hehehhe I can't begin to tell you how
nice it is to be able to say that. I have recieved about 30
emails in regards to last months photo, where I was wearing
a bikini, most said that they admired my curage, a couple said
I looked good, and some took the time to email me and tell me
that I should NOT be wearing a bikini. I don't know wether
these people intended to hurt my feelings or if they have ever
been morbidly obese. But my skin is much thicker than that
First I would like to clarify I did not put it up there thinking I was
a super model, I put it up there because of the mass amounts
of email I recieve asking about loose, saggy skin, I wasn't about
to put a nude photo up so that's as close as they get. It was hard
to do it, somtimes I still "think big" I mean I believe I am a still
a bigger person. So it was hard. For example today at work I needed
to pick up a back support to use for one of my clients, they didn't even
ask what size they dug out a small, I said oh I better try it on and
make sure huh? and they said well we don't have any extra small
so it better fit. WOW, I have never been handed a small anything
in my life by somone, too weird that there was just no choice in
this womans head that I might be a medium or somthing huh?
Turns out I have plenty of room in the small. LOL. I guess I did
have somthing to post. Until next time.
August 18, 2000
Ok I have a couple issues right now. The first is this, a friend of mine
named Judy just went thru surgery here in FL, not using my program
she is doing well and I am proud of her, My friend Linda, and my Friend
Sonia both in Mississippi using my program have went thru the surgery
they are both doing well and I am proud of them. My aunt Cathy is
scheduled for Aug 21, just a couple days, using my program, I am
so excited for her. Ok, next issue, I had a client refer to my weight
yesturday and that freaked me out. She offered me lunch and I always
bring my own because I like to follow a special healthy diet, she made the
comment, "it's surprising your as big of a girl as you are, with as little as
you eat" this hit me hard. I must say. I have not heard any "fat"
references made to me since my surgery even though I was still big
right after my surgery no one has ever said anything. I have been walking
around dealing with this inner mental struggle and this just about pushed
me right over the edge. wich is the third issue. I know a size 4 is a small
person, I know that somone in the 120's is small, but to me I feel like I
am about a size 14 or so, wich isn't big, I would have no problem with
that size, infact I believe my original goal was around that size, I think
I look like a 14 in my pictures, I think I look like that on the street. but
I am ok with that, my big thing is why can't I get my head to adjust
to my body, when I was bigger I always thought I looked smaller,
now I think I look bigger??? Geez, I have asked a few people what
they honestly thought, I don't know, I am not asking for any fluff
I want the truth. They all say I look tiny, but to me I don't, and
obviously to this particular lady I don't either. Wich leads me to
question would these people mislead me? and why? I do not want
to loose any more weight, I don't want to get any smaller, I have
managed to stay in this same "weight zone" for a while now and
am really comfortable here. I never wanted to look like twiggy,
but I know that my mental image isn't the same as the actual one
or is it???? That is the question. I am thinking that it may take time
for my mental state to catch up to my phsyical one. or maybe they
will never be on the same level. I am happy with my health, and
my body size and that is what is important but I can say that I do
wonder how many other people have the same struggle, and how many
of the other people never feel comfortable because of the mental
image they have? Luckily for me, I didn't want to be too thin,
so I am happy with my mental image. Well I think that about
covers it for now. Till next time.
AUGUST 25, 2000
OK I HAVE BEEN SICK AS A DOG FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.
IT STARTED WITH A RUNNY NOSE AND HEADACHE, WITHIN
A COUPLE HOURS IT TURNED INTO A VERY SORE THROAT,
BY THE NEXT MORNING IT HAD MOVED INTO MY CHEST.
I HAVE BEEN ON THE COUCH FOR 4 DAYS. I AM TAKING MEDS
AND DRINKING LOTS OF FLUIDS. IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD TO
FIND SOMTHING TO EAT. I AM NOT HUNGRY AT ALL AND SINCE
MY THROAT HURTS NOTHING SEEMS WORTH THE EFFORT.
BUT I CONSTANTLY REMIND MYSELF TO EAT SOMTHING SO
I DON'T LOOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT. FRUIT WORKS WELL
RIGHT NOW. I AM WORKING ON TONING MY BODY, IT'S
HARD TO "WORKOUT" TO TONE INSTEAD OF TO "LOSE"
I HAVE EXERCISED MY WHOLE LIFE BUT IT HAS ALWAYS
BEEN TO LOSE WEIGHT, SO THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE.
I TOOK A BOLD STEP AND FINALLY DECIDED AFTER MANY
OPINIONS WERE HEARD THAT I SHOULD GO AHEAD AND
POST THE CLINICAL PHOTOS, BY CLINICAL I MEAN
NUDE, YES, I HAVE THEM AT PRE OP, 3.5 MONTHS AND
ALMOST 8 MONTHS. SO I WENT AHEAD AND PUT THEM
OUT THERE. I CAN PROMISE YOU IT'S NOT A PRETTY
SIGHT. I CAN'T BELIEVE IN JUST A FEW MORE MONTHS
I WILL BE 1 WHOLE YEAR POST OP. IT'S SO HARD TO
BELIEVE ON 1 HAND IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTURDAY
I WAS MORBIDLY OBESE, AND WENT THRU THE SURGERY
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE BEEN THINNER
FOREVER, I AM SO USED TO IT. I AM VERY PROUD OF WHAT
I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED WITH THE HELP OF MY WONDERFUL
TEAM AT "RENEW PROGRAM" OF NEW ORLEANS. MY AUNT
HAD HER SURGERY THERE THIS PAST MONDAY, WITH THE
SAME DR AS ME, DR O'CONNELLE. (HE'S WONDERFUL)
CAN YOU BELIEVE I CALLED HER YESTURDAY AND SHE IS
ALREADY AT HOME, AND ANSWERING THE TELEPHONE?
OMG SHE IS DOING SO GREAT AND SOUNDS SIMPLY TERRIFIC.
MY FRIEND JUDY, HAD HER SURGERY HERE, A LITTLE OVER
A WEEK AGO, I CALLED HER YESTURDAY AND SHE IS UP
AND WALKING AROUND, AND ANSWERING THE PHONE.
SHE WILL GET TO GO HOME AS SOON AS THEY GET HER
REGULAR MEDICATIONS REGULATED BACK INTO HER
SYSTEM. EVERYONE IS DOING SO WONDERFULLY.
LINDA WAS HOME QUICK TOO AND UP AND ABOUT.
I REMEMBER THOSE EARLY DAYS, IT WAS SO HARD TO
STAY POSITIVE AND YOU COULDNT' HELP BUT QUESTION
YOUR DECISION. IT WAS OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT ONE
FOR ME, BUT IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. YOU HAVE TO BE
WILLING TO MAKE THE COMITTMENT TO PERMENTALY
CHANGE YOU LIFESTYLE FOREVER. TO BECOME DEDICATED
AND HEALTHY, AND TO USE THE TOOL, NOT ABUSE THE TOOL.
I HEAR SOME POST OPS SAY I AM SOO DISAPPOINTED I AM ABLE
TO EAT 7-8 OZ AND SUGAR AND FRIED FOODS DON'T BOTHER ME
WELL IF YOU WERE FOLLOWING YOUR NUTRIONAL PROTICAL
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT SUGAR AND FRIED FOODS DON'T
BOTHER YOU. AND IF YOU KEEP OVER FILLING YOUR NEW
YES YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HOLD MORE FOOD THAN RIGHT
AFTER SURGERY. SO YOU ARE PLANNING YOUR OWN
SELF DEMISE WHEN YOU DO THIS? WHY BE DISAPPOINTED.
NO ONE SAID THIS WAS GOING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEM
THEY SAID IT WOULD HELP YOU, IF YOU CHOOSE NOT
TO HELP YOURSELF THEN YOU ARE CHOOSING NOT
TO USE THE TOOL. IT MAY SOUND STERN BUT WHERE
IS THE COMMON SENSE. WELL THAT'S IT TILL NEXT
MONTH, I WILL CATCH WHEN I AM 9 MONTHS OUT.
HOPEFULLY I WILL BE MORE TONED AND OVER
THIS COLD OR WHATEVER I HAVE. THE GOOD NEWS IS
THAT EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH TO BREATHE
RIGHT NOW WITH THE COLD, IT'S A HECKUVA LOT EASIER
THAN IT WAS WHEN I HAD ALL THAT WEIGHT ON ME.
OH YEAH, MY HAIR IS STILL FALLING OUT, I HAVE BEEN
USING THE NIOXIN AND TAKING THE ZINC BUT I AM STILL
LOOSING, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED LONG HAIR BUT IT'S GETTING
TOO THIN, SO I AM THINKING ABOUT HAVING IT CUT, I DON'T
REALLY WANT TO BUT IT JUST LOOKS TOO THIN AND STRAGLY
SO MAYBE THE NEXT PIC OF ME I WILL HAVE SOME NEW SHORT
HAIRSTYLE, I AM TERRIFIED, I LOVE LONG HAIR SO THIS IS SCARY
FOR ME.
LOOK AT MY
PICTURES
GO TO THE FLOCK OF ANGELS
WLS SUPPORT AND INFORMATION CENTER
