July 9th, 2000, 7 months post op today !!
Well hi there, it's been a while since I updated, we finally have the
computer stuff fixed, kinda. The good news is I think I figured out
how to maintain my weight, I have managed to go a week or 2
without any loss, infact one morning I woke up and the scale
was actually up a 1/2 a lb. Never thought I would have to worry
about that. It's so weird. Now it's like I never even had the surgery.
We eat out a few times a week, (3 or 4) and I just find somthing decent
the menu, I still don't eat fried foods, sugars or carbonated beverages,
other than that I would say my diet is pretty normal, I definately
consume more than 4 oz, I still never eat more than 1/2 of a portion
it's usually closer to 1/3, but I am always pleasantly full, and quiet
content. The big thing is clothing. Man it is finally fun to go
shopping, I can find somthing I think is cute and pick it up.
Right now I am in a 6 for almost everything, or a small in dresses.
I have to say it is so much fun. I have told a couple people that
I run into here that I had the surgery. The outlook and response
is so much differant than in MS, here it is pretty common knowledge
and everyone knows somone who has done it, in MS, I was the odd ball out
I was hardpressed to find anyone who even heard of anyone who had
went thru it. This town is much more cosmetic. That's not a bad thing
After Christmas I am going to start looking for a plastic surgeon
and check into the breast lift, I don't want implants, I just want what I
have lifted up. I bought a couple tennis raquets and balls, yesturday
I plan to start playing. Our neighborhood has a couple courts
and I hope to get down there in the mornings as it appears they
may not be lit for night play and they heat is too intense during the
day. I swam in my pool in a bikini yesturday !!!! That's right,
I haven't worn a bikini since I was under the age of 7, I am not
saying I looked good in it, but I am saying I wore it and it was fun.
On an emotional note. The move has been a bit stressful and
I am suffering from loneliness. I come from an area where
I knew everyone, and knew where everything was. Here I am
virtually alone, with my husband working all the time, and I can't
find anything in this town. It took me over 6 hours to get a DL,
6 hours to get a tag, and on fri, I drove around for 2 hours looking
for the bank. It is hard for me to feel this lost, and I must say I
can see it in my eating habits. I would definately say that I have
caught myself doing some emotional eating. I try to make it somthing
healthy, or limit the amount, but I haven't been to hard on myself
because I was trying to increase my caloric intake anyway so
I would stop loosing, but I definately don't want this to become
a habit or way of life again, so I am keeping a close eye on it.
I didn't go thru all of this to balloon back up. On Sat July 22,
I am having a wls open house here at my house in Tampa,
Familys and spouses are invited to come along. I don't know how
many people will come, but it should be a great experience.
The hair loss is still going on, they say it's from 3 to 6 months,
Well I am 7 months today and it's still falling out in droves.
I think my hair is the only casulaity in this whole saga.
It will grow back, I am growing new hair, I am not bald by any
means, nor can anyone else tell. But I can, I used to have
really beautiful hair, now it's just hair. Oh well, I used to
be covered by a blanket of fat that doubled my body
weight, I guess it's more than a fair trade.
Well I am off to play some tennis. Wish me luck.
7-16-00
Ok, ok, let me clarify a couple things yes I did actually have the
gaul to put a picture of myself in a bikini on the internet. Yes it
did take a lot of nerve. Yes I know I don't need to be wearing
a bikini in public, yes I know I don't look like pamela anderson.
I know all this yet I still did it knowing I would face certain
humiliation? Yes I did, I did it because I am getting an
enormous amount of emails about loose skin and tummy tucks
I haven't had any surgeries and I don't think my skin is that bad.
I am amazed at how much my lower stomache has "changed"
prior to surgery my lower stomache actually hung past my pubic
region, now as you can see it's got a little pouche but nothing
major, it's a yes I am a mommy that had 2 c-sections pouche,
so I can live with that. The other thing is I wanted to show
that my scar is NOT prominant. There now everyone knows
why and how I could put that pick on the internet.
I got sick yesturday, first time in a long time. We had guest
over for a BBQ, no big deal we do it often, well this guest
claimed to be an awesome chef, so he took control of the
kitchen, I informed him I had this surgery, why I had it
how it was done and my food limitations, I strongly stressed
the fact I can't have sugar, and that I will get violently ill
I repeatedly stressed that, and he said he understood.
AT meal time, he produced a plate for me that literally
contained 5 days worth of food on it for me. A steak,
some chicken breast, some lettuce with sauce,
butter disguised as potatoes, baked beans, and about
50 other things, I looked at him and said, I told you
only 4 oz of food and NO SUGAR. He said yeah just
eat what you want, and there's no sugar in that stuff.
I ate a little bit of chicken, and a little of the lettuce
stuff. within 20 minutes I was dead as a dog sick.
I spent 30 minutes throwing up and the next hour
laying down and sweating and feeling a knot in my
stomache that wouldnt' go away soon enough.
My whole family jumped down his throat. The chicken
had been marinaded in honey and brown sugar.
The lettuce was soaked in milk and white sugar.
can you believe that???? Even after I blatenly
expressed the importance of no sugar??? He
felt like a schmuck and I am glad. He
explained that he thought I was exagerating
and that I was just one of those skinny people
who always complained about being fat and
on a diet. I told him I understood and that
they had to come back next weekend so I
could cook for him, I would place his chicken
out on the driveway the day before the cook
out so he could get an idea of what it felt like
to be poisoned. Mean?? do you think that
was mean of me?? I don't, I think it was terribly
rude and inconciderate of him to literally poison
me, if I wear allergic to shell fish would you feed me
some ??? NO ! anyway I am all better now and
feel fine, I just didn't like getting sick
I think that is my 5th time of being sick in 7
months of post op life so it's not that bad,
I just take great pride in my new stomache
and body and don't need to feed it poison.
Thought I would share that story with
everyone. Take care and until next time.
7/27/00
I have a lot to cover here, so much has happened.
On July 20, I had a wls open house, it was wonderful, we had
4 post ops and 3 pre ops attend, we did post op friendly dishes
and we all had some wonderful food and conversation. I will be
having another one in Sept. I attended a local wls dr's support
group meeting here in Tampa, his name is Murr, there surgery and
protocal seems to be more similiar to the program at RENEW where
my surgery was done. The group was nice and informative. Today
I weigh 130.5 I see the #'s on the scale but it doesn't really sink in
I started a new job here in Florida, so I went to buy some clothes
I grabbed a ton of size 8's and slipped into the dressing room hoping
the wouldn't be too tight. Well I could have fainted. They were WAY
TOO BIG ! So I actually had to buy size 6's and 4's I thought that dress
pants would run a bit smaller, but nope, I have to say though that I have
always thought size 6 and size 4 were absolutely tiny tiny people. I put
them on and yeah they look good, but I am not a tiny tiny person, atleast
I don't think so. I am happy with the way I look, but I do not see myself as
a size 4 person. I see myself as a 10 or 12. I guess it's the fact I have never
been so small in my life, that I can't come to that realization. I hope it
doesn't become an issue. I do not think I am fat any longer, I think I look
good and healthy, so I don't think it's a self image problem, I just don't see
myself as real small. Last night I went on a girls night with my new neighbor,
now she is tiny, I wore size 4 blue jeans with a small shirt tucked in and
a belt. it felt wonderful just to do that. But next to her I still felt like I was
the BIG GIRL. Weird huh? I guess you have that mindset for so long, it
takes a while to clear your brain. Just wanted to cover that, as I am
being super cautious not to go overboard with this weight loss. I am
thinking that since I am only like a lb or 2 from being in the 20's
I might go ahead and let my weight hit the 20's just to see if I can
see a differance visually, or atleast so when I am 55 yrs old I can
say I weighed 120 somthing when I was 30 after having to kids
LOL, I say let my weight go down, because I work to hold my
weight at the same and it is definately work to gain it. It's not
hard or anything you just have to conciously consider what your
putting in your mouth and how often, and that's what I do.
I am no longer scared about going too low, I know that I can control
it, it was a big fear for a long time, but I have played with it now
for the past 6 or 8 weeks and learned how my body handles certain
things. If I want to drop a lb, I just up my water and add a couple
walks around the block to my regular rutine and in a couple
days the lb is gone, weird huh? How come it wasn't that easy
before? I have now been using the Nioxin hair care product line
for a few weeks, I can tell the differance in the amount of loss
and the texture of my hair, the loss has not stopped but it has
drastically slowed down. I also purchased some sublingual zinc
I am starting that today, Several sites and list suggest that
zinc will help with the hair, so I figured I would give it a shot.
In addition I have heard 12 raving reviews about a skin firming
lotion called Nivea, I am purchasing some today and will keep
posting in regards to it, the 12 people I know who have used
it said they could start to tell a differance within 2 weeks. And
that it is a miricale. My skin isn't really a big issue to me, I am
quiet happy with everything. On the lighter side. My birthday is
7-30 wich is only 3 days away. I remember my birthday last year
I turned 30 and I did it fat, I was so depressed I didn't want to
go to dinner. I cried in bed that night and decided that everything
I had done, and tried didn't work, and I would start researching
more options, it was soon after that I came across wls, and now
just 1 year later, here I am, I will wear a size4 on my 31st bday.
I will celebrate with pride. it hasn't been an easy journey, but
it sure has been worth it. I am kicking around the idea
of writing a book, so I have a few chapters outlined, with
info already jotted down, most of it, are my answeres to
emails I recieve asking questions about wls. I recieve over 300
emails a day, and I try really hard to answere every one.
I have watched atleast 1000 people go thru this surgery
around the country. I have talked and met with post ops
and pre ops galore, I can't tell you how many lives, this
procedure has saved and changed. Thank you,
Thank you Dr. R. O'connelle
Thank you Renew of New Orleans
Thank you me, for having the curage to do this.
Coming Soon
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